Meet Kristine: Finding Purpose Through Compassion
Meet Kristine: Finding Purpose Through Compassion
Kristine wears The Barrel Jean Twist in White
Tell us more about who you are and what you do!
My name is Kristine (although many people call me Claggie), and I work as a compassion educator and coach in Los Angeles, California. I’m originally from Indiana, but have been calling LA home for almost fifteen years - time flies! My career path shifted in late 2019 when I left my job as a creative producer at a startup. My career path had been pretty linear before then. I worked as a creative at an ad agency and thought I’d continue on the typical trajectory there, but I made a significant shift after the pandemic hit. I took a few courses on compassion and nonviolent communication, one being a year-long certification course through Stanford University’s Center for Compassion, Altruism, Research and Education (CCARE), which really pushed me into what I’m doing now, which involves: one-on-one coaching, a podcast called Plain View with my friend Elise, a substack, and a snail mail club called Proud of You, where I send out letters each month with research and prompts on topics like imposter syndrome, burnout, self-compassion, change, etc. It’s been SO fun. I love being able to work with people and help them see that they’re not broken or alone in what they’re going through. I think what I love the most about what I do is that what I’m researching and working with clients on are things I’ve worked through myself. I’m a human just like my clients, and I love being able to share the knowledge and research I’ve learned to help others move through challenges and feel less alone.
Kristine wears The Barrel Jean Twist in White
What inspired you to become a compassion coach and educator?
After I left my job right before the pandemic,I was struggling with pretty significant burnout and was feeling heavy and helpless during that time, with the uncertainty of the early pandemic, ongoing California wildfires, and the injustice we were seeing while all stuck alone in our homes. I decided I needed to learn more about how to take action in a way that wouldn’t leave me burnt out or frozen in inaction.
I was drawn to the field of compassion because, by definition, compassion requires action to alleviate suffering. I was feeling a lot of empathy, but was getting stuck in feeling too much without knowing what to do with the feelings. I really wanted to develop the tools I needed to change that! After going back to school, I worked a few jobs in the field at Stanford’s Center for Compassion Altruism Research and Education and at a nonprofit called the Global Compassion Coalition. Both of these jobs helped propel me into what i’m doing now.
What led you to launch Proud of You?
I was feeling really pulled to do something off-screen, especially since I spend so much time on my computer for work. I have also downloaded one too many digital downloads that I never end up opening because they get lost in the void of my downloads folder, which I’m sure everyone can relate to. I have always loved receiving snail mail, and I loved the idea of sharing my work with the world in a fun, accessible way. I also like that it shows up when you’re not necessarily expecting it and feels much more personal than receiving an email.
Part of the inspiration came from a birthday gift I received in college from my best friend Michael, who lived in another state at the time. He decided to send me a handmade postcard every day for a year. Every single day, I looked forward to opening my mailbox to a postcard he created waiting for me. It’s one of the most meaningful gifts I’ve ever been given, and I still have them all.
I think what I love most about the process of creating it every month is that it feels like play for me. I get to share about topics I’m interested in, choose fun paper and envelopes, and experiment with stickers, stamps, and other extra touches. I get in a flow at my dining room table, folding, stamping, and sealing the envelopes. I’m definitely not the first person to come up with the idea of sending out snail mail. There are so many amazing artists sending out their art, poetry, photography, etc, but I love being able to add my own spin to it.
Kristine wears The Seamed Barrel Jean in Vintage Espresso
What are tools that support you when your inner or outer world feels heavy?
Self-compassion is one of the tools I find most useful when the world is heavy and I start getting in my head. Self-compassion doesn’t ask us to get rid of those feelings or bypass them. It begins by taking suffering seriously, including our own. When we feel anger or despair, that’s often a signal that something we care deeply about is being threatened. Compassion helps us stay in relationship with that care without letting it harden into cynicism, burn us out, or leave us dissociating. Using self-compassion, first, I practice awareness around the painful situation and my feelings around it in a balanced way that neither ignores nor exaggerates painful thoughts and emotions. It can be as simple as “Oof, this is hard. I’m suffering right now.” Labeling our thoughts and feelings decreases activity in the amygdala (the brain’s threat defense system) and increases activation in the prefrontal cortex, which supports rational, logical thinking. In other words, labeling a thought makes it less emotionally overwhelming for us.
Next, I practice recognizing our common humanity, that humans are imperfect, that all people experience failure, make mistakes, and go through hard times. When we remember that imperfection is part of life, we feel less isolated when we are going through it.
And lastly, self-kindness, which refers to being caring and understanding with ourselves rather than harshly judgmental. Instead of attacking or beating ourselves up when we make a mistake or are going through a hard time, we offer ourselves warmth and acceptance. This is where the question “How would you support a friend going through the same thing right now?” can be really helpful. It also gives us time to pause long enough to ask, “What’s actually needed here?” rather than reacting from urgency or hopelessness. When we act from a regulated, compassionate place, we’re more likely to choose actions that are sustainable, relational, and aligned with our values, not just ones that are reactive or draining. Compassion widens our time horizon, reminding us that meaningful change rarely happens all at once, but with the accumulation of small, consistent acts of care, courage, and community.
There’s a really beautiful active compassion meditation (also called Tonglen) that involves visualizing yourself taking away the suffering of another (or the world). Sometimes when I’m feeling really stuck or paralyzed by what’s going on, a practice like this helps give me the momentum I need to take a breath and think more logically about what actions I can take. Here’s a meditation recording I made for my capstone project at Stanford, if you’d like to take a listen.
Kristine wears The Seamed Barrel Jean in Vintage Espresso
What is a tip you have for someone struggling with having more self-compassion?
One of the most helpful tips I can offer is to stop trying to feel more self-compassion and start practicing how you respond to yourself when things are hard. Practicing self-compassion doesn’t mean you need to be positive, gentle, or ignore what’s hard. Start with the question: What would I say or offer a friend going through the same situation? Then, you can experiment with offering yourself even a fraction of that same acceptance and care. You can even start by practicing neutrality if self-compassion feels too hard at first. Instead of “I’m such a failure,” you might respond with “That didn’t go the way I hoped, and that’s hard.” Over time, changing your response, rather than your thoughts, is often what makes compassion feel more accessible.
You love to thrift! Any advice for scoring a good find?
I LOVE to thrift. It is definitely one of my happy places. I get into a flow state and lose track of time when I’m at the thrift store. It’s honestly kind of an accidental mindfulness practice, haha. Here is my advice for scoring a good find:
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Be patient. When I go to the thrift store, I literally scan through every single aisle. If you don’t have this much time, I recommend scanning by fabric or color. Get to know what natural fibers look and feel like, and you’ll be able to spot them faster.
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Don’t limit yourself to just the women’s section. I find some of the best vintage denim, sweaters, and button-ups in the men’s section.
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Get to know the schedule at your local thrift store. Is there a certain time of day they bring out “new” items? Are there certain days of the week when they restock or have sales?
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Have a Pinterest board with inspiration for things you’re looking to add to your wardrobe. This will help keep you focused and motivated if you don’t have time to stroll through every single aisle.
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Bring a tape measure! Most thrift stores I've been to removed their dressing rooms during the Pandemic, so I bring a tape measure to make sure I don’t bring home items that won’t fit.
Kristine wears The Seamed Barrel Jean in Vintage Espresso
What do you like about your Just Black Denim jeans?
I think it’s a combination of how well they fit, how they look, and how comfortable they are. So many pairs of denim I’ve had dig in and leave me wanting to rip them off at the end of the day, but my Just Black Denim jeans are so comfortable (without looking frumpy). It’s hard to find a balance of comfort and style in denim - and I ALWAYS get compliments when I wear them. They’re my favorite. :)